Tuesday, January 20, 2009

dancing one step behind

Have you ever danced with a guy who seems to be going just a little too fast? No matter how many times you look down at your feet, you just can't seem to match your steps to his? If only you could slow his steps down just a half-count, you'd be in perfect rhythm and everything would just fall into place...

My life feels like that lately. Time is moving just a bit too fast and, and try as I may to smile and enjoy myself, the dancefloor is still spinning as the song is coming to an end.

A year ago I was making plans with roommates that I was just getting to know (Mary Alice and Lauren J) to go to the Texas State Society's inaugural ball together. Feels like last week! The much-anticipated party was last night and it was so fun, but the fact that it has come and gone is weird to me. Weird I tell you!Emory Quinn, Jack Ingram, Charlie Robison were there. All my favorite texans that live in this district were there (bonnie you don't count.) Well, and Katherine, but she's more All Star American than Texan, really.

My parents came up for the ball, we made plans for that last February because a) my parents are cool and i thought it'd be so fun to have them there and b) they love to dance and they love texas. My dad took pictures with his favorite congresswoman, Sheila Jackson Lee. Hahaha. I got a photo with Senator Kay Bailey, future governor of Texas. (thanks to the wonderful caitlin)

The dancin' was good, we all wore boots, the parentals had fun, all my faves were there. But something just felt kind of "off". It was a weird weekend, processing alot - the loss/end of a job. the goodbyes to great friends. the goodbye to a lovely, wonderful, enchanting city. the excitement of things to come, and trusting that this is God's plan. It's all just hitting me so fast!!

My internship didn't last long enough, I loved it too much. I was just beginning to feel at ease after nine months at the last job and they've kicked us out the door. I haven't lived in the Harry Potter room long enough. I'm not ready to leave the monuments, the political excitement, the metro system, the east coast.

So listen up, dance partner. You're moving a little fast for me. Maybe I can take lessons and learn to keep up with you. Maybe you could slow down a little? Pause for a whirl or two?

I'm not sure learning to keep up with you is something that can be taught. But I'm trying my best to follow. And dancing with you one step behind definitely beats than not dancing at all. I've never been one that liked to sit in the corner. So for now, I'll count myself blessed to be out on the floor, and even if I'm a few counts behind, I won't be sitting this one out.

No comments: